Wows for Every Part of a Property

A recently published article stresses the importance of WOW. Every part of a place should have at least one item capable of eliciting one. The Wallsburg Halls were very impressed and wondered how their residence might stack up in this regard. For a fair and balanced opinion, they sought the assessment of Mr. and Mrs. Unbiased Observer.

Mrs. UO: As we arrived at 975 E. we spotted the vanes of an ornamental windmill listlessly twisting counterclockwise and clockwise. A bad omen. Owners must have difficulty making up minds. Yes. I am sure that you will find that they are of the kind that cannot make up its mind. Wuh. I say, give this place one thin wuh. Worth no more than that.

Mr. UO: One wuh. A score of one wuh. So we are of one and the same only mind, but know what? That wuh of yours came acrosst like you was only thinkin' " Wuh....wellll," whereas I was conjecturin' as to why, what, what for and what the. The thing looks so useless. Is it sposed to generate lectricity, grind wheat, pump oil, water, or what?

Mrs. UO: I spose it's just sposed to be purty, that's all. Next there was an unidentified object that I took to be a super-sized jazzed-up gazabo. Or is it gazeebo? Didn't even have a weather vane on top. These people have no sense of propriety," was the unbidden thought that came up into my mind.

Mr. UO: Looked like cedar fence sections scrunched together to me. A sign the owners can't get goin' from scratch and have to get by with store-bought stuff--likely from Lowes or Home Depot. A total lack of discrimination.

Mrs. UO: Well, let's be charitable. The roof probably leaks but looks like it might of seen some large family gatherings. I'm agoing to be generous and give it a wuh wuh.

Mr. UO (out of breath from clambering up the rope climb): Like my old friend Lavar used to say, "This guy ain't worth hangin' by a old rope," havin' such a dangerous so-called plaything there for innocent little children to fall off of and break their neck.

Mrs. UO: Wait! We didn't rate that plywood cutout by the fence as we came in. We may assume it's sposed to repersent that old geezer whatsisname Don Quicksoat‹properly pernounced dong-kee-hoe-tee. Oh, of course! I get it now. He's tilting at that windmill. This evidences a iota or even more of a litrature and culture inclination... so let's give 'em a qualified wuh wuh wuh.

Mr. UO: They told us to just walk in, so here we go.

Mr. & Mrs. UO (face to face with a collection of dozens and dozens of troll dolls): wuh wuh wuh wuh WOW!